Jan. 29th, 2010

ashleyfanfic: (why should I change?  He's the one who s)
so, I'm really really irritated at the moment.

Keep in mind I've probably had 8 hours of sleep in the last five days!

So, about 2 weeks ago, I started eating no carbs and it's really helped me lose weight. I've dropped weight with this because I can still eat chicken! :) But I know it's been working because my parents have been doing it too. It's hard to diet and not have that support system in place. So, they informed me today that they aren't going to do it anymore because Lent is coming up and we give up meat for Lent. Which, you know, I understand, but every time I find something that works for me, they change it. I can't do it by myself. I need someone sitting there who understands what I'm going through and can feel my pain when they see my brothers eating microwave pizza, which you really don't want, but you crave since you can't have it. And they're letting my brother Brad rub it in my face. He's been eating cupcakes and pizza and croissants in front of me, and he does it in a mocking sort of way.

Understand this. I have never been thin. I've never even been able to say that I can shop in one of those stores with cute clothes that other girls wear. I want to feel that, just once. I want to be able to buy clothes in a normal store and not have to pay extra because my size I have to get costs more.

So, I really feel like I'm getting screwed in this whole scenario. So, if I'm doing the protein and they stop and start doing weight watchers AND Lent, then what the hell am I going to eat? They'll only buy food they can eat and expect ME to cook it. I'm so torn between just bawling my eyes out and taking a baseball bat to both of them.

I'm on my period and cramping to high hell, so I'm in even a worse mood than normal.

December 2012

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