ashleyfanfic: (no doubt 05)
So, I told you guys about my student loans...well, I have to withdraw from school tomorrow because I can't cover my tuition. I am also probably going to lose my car in the next day or so. I can't find a job. I even applied at McDonalds and was told they were not hiring. McDonalds is ALWAYS hiring. But when I need a job, there isn't one.

I'm really depressed. I've probably cried every day since last Monday. I haven't been sleeping well. I'm just stressed out and really unhappy. I don't know what to do. Also, my kidney is hurting, and I'm afraid that it is only going to get worse and instead of a kidney infection, which I can ward off with AZO standard, that it will turn out to be another kidney stone.

I'm trying to have faith that it will get better, but it's really hard when I feel like crap.

Been listening to this song to make me feel better, but it hasn't worked yet.

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky
you'll get by.

If you smile through your pain and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun shining through
For you.

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying.
You'll find that life is still worthwhile-
If you just smile.

~ Smile
~ Charlie Chaplin
ashleyfanfic: (no doubt 05)
I really hate my life right now. Everything that could go wrong today has gone wrong.

- I go get my financial aid straightened out only to find out that they aren't giving me everything I need because of what I made LAST year. Instead of the full amount I need for the year, I got enough to cover one semester.
- I had to have my dad buy my books, which I really didn't want to do.
- It rained all day.
- I just got in a huge fight with my mom. I was sitting in my room installing something on my computer for my class and I hear her talking to my aunt on the phone. She's basically bad-mouthing me and my brothers because she had to clean the kitchen. Big surprise there, not really. My brothers never clean and I haven't been here. So, I'm not really listening until I hear my name and then she starts saying how I said that I wasn't cleaning the kitchen because I didn't make the mess. That is total and utter bullshit. On second thought, I should have let it go, but I don't like people lying about me. So I listened to it for about two more minutes of her putting words in my mouth that I never said and I walked in there and called her a "Fucking liar". Now, I shouldn't have said that, and I apologized, but do you think she apologized to me for lying? FUCK NO! I'm the evil bitch that made her clean the kitchen. I'm the only one that cares if she eats, I'm the only one that does clean the house when it needs to be done, and I'm the only one that she spends time with. I take offense to her first lying on me and then storming off and throwing a fucking temper tantrum because I called her on her lying.

I just want to go to bed and pretend like today never happened.
ashleyfanfic: (Default)
So, the first two classes I went to yesterday have me super excited. The first one is like an introduction to Word, Excel, Access, and Power Point. Can we say easy A? The second class is introduction to computer programming! We'll be using......VISUAL BASIC! SO EXCITED TO LEARN HOW TO USE THIS PROGRAM! And we get a free copy of it with our book!!!!!

Today I have Stats 2 and Calculus. UGH! I'm glad I put these two together because I dread them both.
ashleyfanfic: (big bang theory - ken can kiss my barbie)
Schedule change:

10:00-11:00 - Computer Applications In Business (ONLINE)

5:30-6:50 - Introduction to Computers and Programming

11:10-12:30 - Personal Financial Planning
12:45-2:05 - Calculus
2:20-3:40 - Business Stats II

This is much better. I'm basically taking the same classes, minus Graphic Design. I can take it next semester when I don't have to worry about Calc and Stats
ashleyfanfic: (Default)
Schedule for Fall

Calculus - 10:20-11:15
Intro to Computer Programming - 5:30-6:50

Computer Applications In Business - 10:20-11:15

Intro to Graphic Design - 8:30-11:00
Business Stats II - 2:20-3:40
ashleyfanfic: (lysachek)
I go back to school on Monday and I'm really dreading it. Like, I have butterflies about it. I know that's silly. I wasn't even there when the shooting happened and no students were involved. However, I just feel..........unsafe. Like, I've always felt safe at school. Even after Columbine, I never worried about that happening here. But it makes me completely uneasy to think about having to walk into that building.

I also had a talk with Michelle today and she really hurt me. I'm trying to talk to her about how I feel and she just jumps in and starts telling me that she doesn't understand why I feel that way and I shouldn't worry about any of this since I wasn't even there. I was really upset. I'm really stressed about it. My face looks like a pepperoni pizza at the moment because that's how my stress has decided to manifest itself. I don't watch stories about the shooting, I don't read stories about the shooting, in fact, I don't even like talking about it, period. But I really felt like she was completely disregarding my feelings about it. I guess it is silly to be upset, but I can't help how I feel. I really wish I could get over this as easily as other people probably would, but I just don't know how to do that.

In other news, been watching the Olympics! Evan Lysachek was soooo on the other night! he hit all his jumps fantastically! And I really think the Russian guy didn't deserve the gold medal when next to Lysachek. Yes, he did a quad, but the other jumps he did were not pretty. He front loaded his program with jumps and didn't put any in the backend, where Lysachek put several harder jumps and scored bonus points. And if you went by the old system, where you had Technical and Artistic points, Lysachek BEAT the Russian guy on the TECHNICAL, not artistic. I love Apollo! I knew he wasn't going to get Gold tonight, not when I saw that two Canadians and two Koreans were in it. I knew that they would both keep him out of the top spot so I knew he had to win gold. And good for that little guy beating Shani! I was so happy for him, if you can believe it. The joy, just complete surprise on his face at winning made me smile.

Why the Olympics feel the need to shove tender moments in my face. I'm an emotional wreck right now, I don't need to know these tragic stories that turn me into a blubbering mess!
ashleyfanfic: (dude - fsm)
Just a little update of my day!

I hate Tuesdays. I have all this time to kill in the morning to play WoW and it's down for maintenance. SUCKS ROYALLY!


I made a 90 on my first math quiz! :)


I was productive and went to class even though I was so tempted to just blow it off.


I'm addicted to the song "Telephone" by Lady Gaga and Beyonce and I'm not happy about it. I really want to dislike Lady Gaga but she's making it freaking impossible with her catchy music and putting my beautiful Eric in her video for Paparazzi! DAMN HER!


I have a ton of math homework due by friday, so tomorrow morning I'll be spending a lot of time in the math lab trying to get it done.

and I think that's it for me for tonight. :)

I love you guys! I have the best f-list in all the world!!
ashleyfanfic: (joy - default)
I think I have my schedule worked out for next semester. Don't count on seeing me on Tuesday and Thursdays.

3:55-5:15Tue&ThursStats I
5:30-6:30Tue&ThursManagerial Accounting
10:20-11:15Mon/Wed/FriBusiness Writing
2:30-5:00Mon&WedIntro to Graphic Design

I've never taken Graphic Design before. I think it could be fun!!
ashleyfanfic: (nightmare boogie)
Just a life update.

So, I've made it half way through the semester and I currently have Cs in Micro, Accounting, and Stats, and an A in Math. The C in Accounting I hope to change this next test Friday. I have a study group tomorrow evening for our test on Friday, which is good, considering I missed all of chapter 8.

I've been studying this evening and writing notes and my hand is just cramping like crazy. I forgot about that part of school.


Also, I like UAH, but I loved Montevallo. I feel so far removed from the college there, I think because I don't live on campus and I'm not involved in actively getting to know people, so that makes it harder.


My brother Adam took a nail to the eye on Monday. It didn't like stick in his eye, but it hit his eyeball. He went to the hospital only to find out that the company he was working for didn't have workman's comp insurance on him, even though he'd been paying for it. They still, by law, have to pay for his medical bills. He has to see a specialist because he's having blurred vision in that eye and they're concerned that there maybe be problems with the retina. They did a CAT scan to make sure everything was okay, but the specialist is just to make sure that he's not going to permanently lose his eyesight.

On the same day, my mother was in B'ham with my aunt who was having an arteriorgram(sp?) because her stress test came back abnormal and since her father died of a heart attack at 69 and her brother and sister all have heart problems, they wanted to make sure she was ok. And she was. She doesn't have the same problem my mom or uncle have, which is where the arteries are very small and thin so they have to stint them. My uncle has already had two mild heart attacks. My mom has four stints and one of the veins that was really small not allowing enough blood to flow to the heart, did it's own bypass! It's was freaking cool to see the comparison. Like when she went in and they did the lookie thing the first time, there were no capillaries coming off it, and then nine months later, it had sprouted it's own capillaries and did it's own bypass to allow blood to flow to the heart. The human body is amazing! Truly amazing I tell you. Anyway, my aunt is fine. She didn't even have to take cholesterol medicine.


Kristin is now 7 1/2 months pregnant. Peyton is growing every day. My brother said that she should name him Peyton Bryant Zarzaur. Kristin is a Tennessee fan and loves Peyton Manning and we're all Alabama fans and love the Bear, so Peyton Bryant would be mixing both. My dad wants Peyton Robert. Robert is a family name and there are a lot of Roberts on her side as well.


We went to a wedding this weekend out in the damn sticks. Ever heard of Veto, Alabama? Me either until last Sunday. My Michelle's sister, Jaimie, took the pictures.

Look under Photo Gallery and then Brooke and Stevie and her Sister's wedding is Michelle and Adam! She takes such beautiful pictures. She's going to do the photos for Brad and Kristin's weddings and Adam and Brittnis (should that day ever come).


But that's it from me for the night.
ashleyfanfic: (nightmare jack)
My face is really hot! Like, my cheeks feel like they are on fire!!!


In other news, WoW, I'm now a 78, sooooo very close to 79! I'm right there! It's driving me crazy! Not to mention that I still don't have enough gold to buy my flying mount for Northrend.


My nephew is sooo smart. He's thirteen months old, and he's been walking now for over three months. He can say the follow words: book, cookie, Siti, Gidi, Brad, Adam, Dixie, Pepper (it's more Pepah), Momma, Dada, ball, more, bye bye, brush, bath, all gone (it's more ah gone), car, banana(which is nana), nose, eye(and it's that eye cause he points to it), and monster (it's monser). I think it's more that we don't talk to him in baby talk, but we use full words. They bought him this giant dinosaur today from a yardsale and it moves and growls and sings songs, and when he got up from his nap and saw it, he just started laughing! He went over and used the brush to brush it. SOOO CUTE!

We have pictures I'll post later!!


Halloween is coming really fast! people are decorating and stuff. Landon is going to be Frankenstein's monster, because that's how he walks in shoes.


I found out that I have a C in Microeconomics! YAY! I was really worried I would have worse! A C is ok with me.


I've been trying to motivate myself to work on my [ profile] dmhgficexchange fic...but I'm just not able to do it right now.



Tennessee fans, explain something to me, yes, you QB sucks, we've had sucky QBs too, but we never BOOed the kid! I feel bad for him. Why are you booing your QB?! He needs to know that the fans are behind him...but he knows they aren't!!!


My baby brother is coming home for two days for the first time in four months Tuesday! I've missed him!!
ashleyfanfic: (Alabama Football!!)
Hello world!!

So, here's a little update...

I had two tests this week. One in Microeconomics and one in Accounting. No idea how I did on either. I have a test thursday in Stats that I'm dreading.


So, Alabama is 4-0 with an awesome victory against Arkansas. Georgia struggled to beat them, but I think that says more about how crappy Georgia is this year.

And the Tebow was hurt...awww. I thought he was superman! At least, that's the way it sounds when the announcers talk about him. I mean, I expect at halftime he walks on water then goes and saves puppies from a burning building. I think my hate for Tebow is more because the announcers all love him. Hell, the announcers for the television, no matter the station, suck. If you were just listening to the Alabama/Arkansas game on TV, you would have thought that Arkansas had it by 50 points.


It feels like it's been raining here since 1998. I don't even remember what it was like when the sun came out. We're supposed to have a sunny day tomorrow, but I highly doubt it.


On the World of Warcraft front. I have less than 15 days to make it to level 80 before my submission time runs out. I don't have any money and with dad paying the rest of my bills, I just don't have the heart to ask him to pay for 6 months of WoW time. :(

But my Death Knight is a level 76. I'm nearly high enough to buy a flying mount for Northrend. I'm also Double Spec, in Blood and Frost. Frost because I kept getting asked to tank and when people found out that I was blood, they were pissed. So, I went frost, too. Frost only pulls more aggro, while I feel like Blood deals more damage.

Also, Brewfest is going on, and I've almost got enough coins to buy brew of the month. I need one more day on the damn goat to get it. And I've been looking for a weapon better than the Ax I currently have that deals like 500 damage and has a high crit strike rating as well as armor penetration. I've yet to find one.

My brother is no longer playing WoW because he works all the time and just doesn't have time, which is sad because that's when I usually got to talk to him. Although, I changed servers, so that wasn't even really true.

Anyway, I love this game, but I've found that if I play it right before I go to bed, that I dream about it. And believe me, you do not want to dream about WoW. It doesn't lend itself to peaceful dreams. When I first started playing, I had a recurring dream that I was on my mount, riding around the Barrens, trying to find animals to kill for their skin. Pretty bad when you're so involved in something that you dream about it.


That's it for me for the night. I'm super tired and I just want to crawl into bed and sleep for, like, forever. My cousin Nicole is having a baby shower tomorrow, so I probably won't be around.

ashleyfanfic: (big bang theory - ken can kiss my barbie)
Big Bang Theory premier in less than a week! YAY!


Dancing with the Stars premier in a week! DOUBLE YAY! There are some videos on youtube of the rehersals, and I think some people will do really well, while others will struggle. I'm torn who to support, but my fav pros are Derek and Mark, and probably will be Anna Demidov.

Also, already an injury, Tom Delay was hurt dancing today, but he's going to push on through. I'm telling you, this show is DANGEROUS!!

I also found out that the Ballas Hough Band will be performing on the show sometime this season, which is great for Mark and Derek. Their music rocks, and they're multitalented guys and I hope it really brings something out for them. Not to mention my love for Derek grows daily as he's blond and I seem to have a thing for blonds, what with Draco, Eric, Derek...combine the first two names and you get the 3rd...weiiiiiird.


Stats sucks ass. I don't understand anything he's talking about. I think the reason is that he's so smart he doesn't know how to dumb it down for everyone else. Which sucks because I don't want to be the person in the room that doesn't understand. But that's how it is every class.

However, during class today while I was not understanding, I got about 4 pages written of Broken Road.


Speaking of Broken Road, I'm getting a pretty good response from it. I really hope that people are enjoying it and aren't just saying things to be nice. I want honesty. If you honestly think it sucks, then tell me.


Mickey Rourke was just on Hannity, and I really think he was stoned out of his mind. I could be wrong, but I do.


Last word on Kanye West vs. Taylor Swift. I really think the winner, the shinning star in the whole event was Beyonce. She didn't have to give up her time to allow Taylor to speak, but she showed that she is a good person with a big heart.

Also, be happy, I finally agree with our President on something: Kanye is a jackass.


I'm totally in love with the band Muse, now. I love "Uprising" but I think "Undisclosed Desires" is my favorite song.
ashleyfanfic: (Default)
Off to do homework for a while. Microeconomics SUCKS!! As does Stats!!

Why, as an MIS major, do I have to have these two classes. Tell me. TELL ME NOW!

December 2012

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