ashleyfanfic: (Kelso !!!)
I decided that since I've been depressed that the best thing to do is to look at the good things I have. The good outweighs the bad, really.

Good things:
- My family - while they drive me crazy, most days, I know that when I need them there are there with all the love and support they can offer. My Godfather, my dad's youngest brother, just called me today because he was thinking about me and wanted to talk to me. One of my dad's sisters was in the Disney store when it was going out of business and saw some Nightmare Before Christmas stuff and knew I loved it, so she bought it and sent it to me, just because. My dad and mom have done everything they can to make me feel better, to my dad trying to make me laugh because he doesn't like to see me upset. Landon offers hugs and kisses at random times and has come up to me recently and patted me and said "Ashey no cry, ok?"
- My friends - specifically Michelle - is a never ending ream of support. I have to say that while she does get on my nerves occasionally, she's as close to a sister as I will ever have. Thing is, we're both two people who don't let the other wallow and feel sorry for themselves. We kick one another in the ass when we need it, we listen, and we're capable of making the other laugh when no one else can. She is driving four hours the weekend of my birthday just to hang out with me.
- My computer - it's pretty awesome. I bought it as a whole set from Sam's a few years ago. It's a Dell, which is all I will ever own now, and it's fabulous! It has enough room for me to play WoW and keep both Sims 2 and 3.
- World of Warcraft - you have no idea how cathartic it is to go kill some stuff when you're feeling upset.
- Craig Ferguson - I DVR this show because he makes me laugh. I think he's the best late night has to offer. I really like that he rarely ever talks to the people about what they're there to plug. Some of my favorite recent guests: Tom Felton, Robert Downy Jr., Tim Allen, Gerard Butler, and Emma Thompson. I also love his little cussing rabbit, Sid.
- That 70's Show and Big Bang Theory - I love these two shows. I've seen some episodes of That 70's Show so many times I can recite the words. Big Bang Theory, I love this show the more I watch it.
- The soundtracks of Glee - Truly has helped me get through today. "Don't Stop Believing", "Dream On", "Smile", and "Alone" can always bring a smile to my face, and goosebumps to my arms.
- And last but not least, you guys - There is a core group of you that offer never ending support. As long as I've had this journal, I know that I can come here and tell you guys things that I would never tell my real life people and you would never judge me of it. Some of you post things that make me laugh, think, and sometimes go "PLEASE PUT NAKED PEOPLE BEHIND A CUT" but it's almost always entertaining. My last post I cried while I wrote it, but after the love and support you guys sent my way, it really did make me feel better. You're the best online friends that a person could ever have.

So, really, thank you so much guys. Just keep being you.
ashleyfanfic: (no doubt 05)
So, I told you guys about my student loans...well, I have to withdraw from school tomorrow because I can't cover my tuition. I am also probably going to lose my car in the next day or so. I can't find a job. I even applied at McDonalds and was told they were not hiring. McDonalds is ALWAYS hiring. But when I need a job, there isn't one.

I'm really depressed. I've probably cried every day since last Monday. I haven't been sleeping well. I'm just stressed out and really unhappy. I don't know what to do. Also, my kidney is hurting, and I'm afraid that it is only going to get worse and instead of a kidney infection, which I can ward off with AZO standard, that it will turn out to be another kidney stone.

I'm trying to have faith that it will get better, but it's really hard when I feel like crap.

Been listening to this song to make me feel better, but it hasn't worked yet.

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky
you'll get by.

If you smile through your pain and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun shining through
For you.

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying.
You'll find that life is still worthwhile-
If you just smile.

~ Smile
~ Charlie Chaplin
ashleyfanfic: (Default)
Anyone else miss [livejournal.com profile] jadarene's dirty limericks of the day?

December 2012

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