ashleyfanfic: (no doubt 05)
[personal profile] ashleyfanfic
So, I told you guys about my student loans...well, I have to withdraw from school tomorrow because I can't cover my tuition. I am also probably going to lose my car in the next day or so. I can't find a job. I even applied at McDonalds and was told they were not hiring. McDonalds is ALWAYS hiring. But when I need a job, there isn't one.

I'm really depressed. I've probably cried every day since last Monday. I haven't been sleeping well. I'm just stressed out and really unhappy. I don't know what to do. Also, my kidney is hurting, and I'm afraid that it is only going to get worse and instead of a kidney infection, which I can ward off with AZO standard, that it will turn out to be another kidney stone.

I'm trying to have faith that it will get better, but it's really hard when I feel like crap.

Been listening to this song to make me feel better, but it hasn't worked yet.

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky
you'll get by.

If you smile through your pain and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun shining through
For you.

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying.
You'll find that life is still worthwhile-
If you just smile.

~ Smile
~ Charlie Chaplin

December 2012

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